MY TIES (not MAI TAIS)

A well tied tie is the first serious step in life.

-Oscar Wilde

I have always loved ties. I realize that many men consider them powerful forces of societal oppression, but to me, they are one of the only ways that I can express myself within a fairly conservative environment (musicians always have to wear black. Bo-o-o-o-ring!).  It’s also the quickest way to determine someone’s personality in a sea of suits.

-Drab diagonal stripes: conservative and cautious.

-Bold solid colour: Type A, aggressive and pompous.

-Novelty tie (with cartoon characters and the like): Peter Pan. Someone who thinks they’re cleverer than they are. Not husband material

-Unusual pattern or colour combination: Adventurous, non-conformist.

-Floral: Gay.

I have always collected ties, and would comb thrift shops for the gaudiest, loudest and ugliest ties. I had one with a silhouette of a naked lady outlined in small LED lights, which I wore to my college graduation in 1990. The nun (a woman who we used to call Attila the Nun) who gave me my diploma simply rolled her eyes. At one point, my collection numbered around 50. Several years ago, there was a flood in the basement, and most of them were ruined. Meh. Life goes on.

Since I have started travelling, I have tried to by ties in every country I have been to. However, most of my ties came from this one shop in Istanbul, a tiny store in the middle of the sprawling outdoor market. I had never seen such bold patterns and colours (most North America ties tend to look like they belong on private school students), and they were cheap cheap cheap! I probably have at least 30 now, and I wear them whenever I can. Here are a few pics of my favourites.